The Long Island University Brooklyn Campus Library Media Center Newsletter 


We love movies, among other things.

Spring 2010, issue 54

Dear Kaspar Gutman:
Congratulations, Class of 2010!  In your honor, once again this year's Spring issue is devoted to advice columns.

Dear Kaspar,

I work for an eccentric genius mulitmillionaire inventor alcoholic playboy.  We have a complicated relationship.  A little romantic tension there, maybe.  Okay, I kind of secretly love him.  And he's kind of a superhero.  What do I get him for his birthday? 

His Gal Friday,
Stark International

Dear Miss Friday,

Hmmph.  Yes.  Well, your employer sounds like a character. By gad, I believe you can never know what he'll say or do next, although it's bound to be something astonishing.  A man like that, hmmph,  a man like that should appreciate a certain jewel-encrusted bird given by the Knights Templar of Malta to Charles V of Spain.  Yes, yes, that should do nicely, heh.  Or shall we go to Istanbul?

Phlegmatically yours,
Kaspar Gutman

Dear Fat Man,

We lost Doug.  We took him to Vegas before his wedding.  And we lost him. We cannot, none of us, there are three of us, remember what happened last night.  And we have Mike Tyson's tiger.

Worst Groomsmen Ever,
Sin City, USA

Dear Groomsmen,

By gad sir, you are characters.  One may never know what you may say or do next, except that it's bound to be something astonishing.  Sounds like you all danced madly with the divine Dionysus last night, hmmph, yes, heh.  Well, good for you, sirs! I distrust a man who says "when."  If a man has to be careful not to drink too much, then he's not to be trusted when he does.  Mike Tyson's tiger, Mike Tyson's tiger!  Hmmph, delightful!  Yes. 

Obesely yours,
Kaspar Gutman

Dear Kaspar,

Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless.


Mr. Yoda, Sir,

Hmmph! Well, heh, yes, you are a character, sir!  A green and trollish character, to be sure, with large hairy ears and three fingers on each hand, but yes, heh, yes, sir, you are by gad a most astonishing character.  And yes, hmph, reckless may well I be, but I tell you, sir, a man who seeks the legendary idol commissioned by the Knights Templar of Malta, that man, sir, he must be reckless if he is to survive, sir! Nay, even more so if he is to achieve his quarry, sir.  Yes, yes, heh.  Here's to plain speaking and clear understanding.  I'll tell you right out, I am a man who likes talking to a man--or a, whatever you are--who likes to talk!

Gutturally yours,
Kaspar Gutman   

The Media Center is located on the fifth floor of the Library Learning Center
Come up and see us some time

We would especially like to congratulate those hardworking Media Center students who are earning Bachelor's Degrees this spring: Tiara Colon and Nicole Collins.  Thank you both for helping make the Media Center such a great resource for all LIU students, faculty, staff, and administration, and for making it a great place to come to work every day. 

We also congratulate Tiara Colon for her award-winning short film, The Gypsy, which was shown at the New Filmmakers New York Spring Festival and The Bare Bones International Film Festival, both in April!  She made the film with Jon Navarro, an LGCC student. 


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This issue of  BCLMC is brought to you all the way from the back row by Media Assistant and close-mouthed man Patrick Jewell.  Tell your friends. 


Questions?  Comments?  Contact us. 
Media Center Staff:
Patrick Jewell,  Media Staff  (718) 488-3392
Lisa Rivera,  Media Staff  (718) 780-4378